I’m Done Having Kids! How I knew our family was the right size

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I have 3 kids. Some days that feels like a totally manageable number. Other days, it feels like those 3 small people are pulling me in 15 different directions! To put it simply, it gets intense. Good or bad though, I am done having kids!

Deciding I was done having kids wasn’t an easy decision to make. I waited until my youngest was well past his first birthday before I even tried to decide.

It’s amazing how many people were asking about the next one right after I popped him out! I wanted to get past the baby stage before I felt I could be objective enough to think about it clearly. I didn’t want to make major life decisions when I was that sleep-deprived.

Done Having Kids? How I Knew for Sure

Here is how I know I am done:

I can’t handle any more people depending on me to meet their needs.

This is probably one of the biggest reasons I am ready to be done. Dealing with 3 small people expecting me to solve all of their problems 24/7 is tough! Before I had kids I had vague ideas of having like 4-6 kids. It turns out that 3 is a much better number for me. I feel like I can manage my family and still keep my sanity right now.

Before I made peace with this decision, I would look at bigger families and worry that my desire to be done having kids meant I wasn’t as good a mom as other women who had more. What I realized is that my personality, combined with my parenting style, means 3 is a good number for me. And that’s ok.

I don’t have a large parenting support system.

My parenting support system is pretty tiny. None of our family lives close to us. I have some friends, but they all have a bunch of kids of their own. My husband also works out of town often.

This means, that 99% of the daily childrearing falls on my shoulders. All of the feeding, napping, diapers, soccer practice, school work, social skills, etc is up to me.

Now, this isn’t a pity party, it’s just my reality. I gladly take on those responsibilities and I don’t take them lightly. In order to do my best, I need to be realistic about how much of that I can handle without someone else around to help out on occasion.

Pregnancy

I’m ready to get my body back and keep it to myself.

Pregnancy and breastfeeding are definitely some of the highlights of my life and my journey through parenting. But they have also taken a toll on my body.

I have loaned my body out to someone else off and on for the last 9 years. I am ready to take it back and keep it. My body has done some amazing things, but it’s time for me to be able to have control over it again.

I’m ready to move on to a different stage in parenting.

All of my kids are 3-1/2 years apart. This means that right around 2-1/2 years old, baby fever hits, and I’m ready to do it all over again.

But not this time! I took a second to look back, and I realized that I have been in the same 3-year cycle over and over again. It’s like Groundhog Day except for 3 years long.

I’m ready to move on. I am ready to sleep through the night. I’m ready to take my kids to the park and actually sit and talk with friends. I’m ready to be out of diapers and naptimes.

I want to take my family out to eat and not have to worry about whether or not the baby is up for sitting still long enough for me to finish my food. I have been doing the same thing for 9 years. It’s time to move forward.

My 3 kids

Conclusion

Although I feel very strongly about my reasons for being done having kids, it wasn’t an easy decision to make. It wasn’t until I admitted to myself that it made me a little sad to be done, that I was finally able to accept it. When I admitted to myself all of the things I would miss, it all finally settled into place for me.

I will miss the anticipation and excitement of that brand new person growing inside of me. I will also miss all of that huge love you have when you get that new precious little baby in your arms for the first time.

I’m ready to miss all of those things though. I am ready to move on to the next phase of parenting. I’m ready to move on, and I’m a little sad about it. And that’s ok.

If you have any questions or comments on how you know you are done having kids, please share them below or contact me at Candice@littlestepsbighappy.com.

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I'm Done Having Kids

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